Recently I was having a conversation with a fellow, and a comment that he had about my body blew me away. I could have become offended, but once I took time to think about it and digest his ignorance...I had an epiphany about my body image and I felt empowered.
The epiphany was: I'm a bad ass motherfucker with or without anyone's fucking approval!
These words actually came out of a man's mouth:
"You have an amazing body. You know what would make you look awesome! Bigger boobs. Have you ever thought about getting implants? You should think about it. You'd rock it! You'd look great! Girls are lucky, you can get parts enhanced. If I could, I'd get penis enlarged to 20 feet. Can you imagine? Women are lucky."
Thanks, dick!
I'm not going to comment on his appearance, because it doesn't matter. But I will just note that I was not impressed.
Had I been told that comment at 22 years old, hell even 30 years old...I am not sure my delicate self-esteem could have taken that. I would have rushed to the nearest hiding spot and cried a little and felt insecure for the rest of the day. I would have started saving money for breast implants, and imagined how "perfect" my body would be once the procedure was complete. I would have looked for approval of others based on how they viewed my body and hope that I was good enough and worthy for love. I would have thought that to be considered attractive and beautiful, I would need to look a certain way. I would have also wrongly judged other women based on my warped perception of beauty.
Luckily I am 37, and at this point I could care less about what some idiot thinks about my body and what I should do to "enhance" it. Luckily I have spent years working to build my confidence levels and self-esteem, and self-love based on personal improvement and achievement rather than only basing my worth on appearance. Though at times it has been a struggle at times, I no longer base my worth on my looks as I did when I was younger. I try to be honest with myself, and the truth (if you didn't know) is I do not have a large bust. To answer his question, yes, I have considered paying for a breast augmentation. I have done the online research, called clinics, saved thousands of dollars, and even sat in for an appointment to talk to a cosmetic surgeon. I could never pull the trigger.
I'm not sure why I never went through with the procedure, but I am positive that the cost had something to do with it. I also knew that I was not mature enough for a change so significant. And to be completely upfront, I still consider it sometimes. To follow that statement, let me be clear, I only make life changing decisions based on my happiness and what is best for my well-being. I will never make a decision, especially about my body, to please anyone else. Ever.
Why should I or any woman feel the need to alter my body to suit someone else's standard of beauty? Why should I or any woman feel that I need to look a certain way in order to gain the approval or admiration of a man? Why should I or any woman feel that I have to try harder or pay money to live up to a contrived standard of beauty? Why should I or any woman feel unworthy or less perfect due to lacking a certain preference? Why do I or any woman need to change my breast size, lip size, butt size, or waist size to be accepted as a beautiful woman?
I would like to bring to your attention that most men or women that require this unattainable standard of beauty are far more insecure than any of you reading this blog.
I have many different qualities and features that make me just as much of a woman as any other woman big bust or not. I don't believe I have to prove my "woman-ness" to anyone male or female. And I certainly don't feel I need to spend thousands of dollars to get the approval of some sex crazed pig. It doesn't matter what size my boobs are, how large or small my butt is, how long my hair is, or how much I weigh or what kind of clothes I wear that defines me as a woman. Being a woman is much more than physical appearance.
I wish I could give you a straight forward definition of what is means to be a woman. I wish I could draw a picture or describe in detail what a woman should look like, how she should dress, fix her hair, wear her make-up, how a woman should speak, What sports a woman should play, what career path is acceptable for a woman, how a woman should walk, and how a woman should think. But I can't give you a definition or a description. To be a woman is all empowering and beautiful. There is no one standard of beauty. There is no right or wrong. There is no checklist that you can mark to meet a certain standard or "woman-ness". You are either a woman or you are not, and if you are you should know that you are perfectly beautiful. If you are not a woman, you have no business in defining the beauty and greatness that is a woman.
I'm going to close with this: You are a bad ass motherfucking woman with or without anyone's fucking approval!
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