You Get What You "See"

What do you see for yourself?  What do you envision?  What is your story?  What is your truest self?  What is your biggest dream? 

What you “see” is what you get.  The “picture” you envision creates your reality.  If you place limits on your abilities, you should know that, those limits are imaginary and solidified by the story that you choose to believe.  Our imagination can lead us or it can limit us.  Author Jerry Lynch states that “our imagination can either lead us to our truest potential of greatness or limit us with “real” mental barriers that prevent us from our truest self.”

What is the image you have of yourself?  Is it positive?  Is it self-empowering?  Does your imagination fuel your confidence and self-esteem?  Or does your imagination have you believing in a negative self-image?  Do you believe in false stories that limit your abilities and ambitions?  Do you let the opinions of others steer the direction of your actions?  Do you tell yourself (or think to yourself), “I can’t do that.” Or “I’ll never be able to achieve that!”  Whatever “that” is…YES you can!

“Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they’re yours.” I don’t even know who Richard Bach is, but his quote is 100% correct!  Whatever you accept as your truth, is your truth…nothing but your truth.   Do you know who else was right?  Thomas Edison when he said, “If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”  When flipped, a coin has two sides on which to land, heads or tails.  Just as the coin has two sides, you have two options; positive or negative, victor or victim, winner or loser.   The difference between you and the coin is that the coin’s fate is determined by a flip, and your fate is determined by a decision; your decision.  That decision belongs to you.

You have the power to decide your outcome.  You have the power to decide who you are.  You have the power to decide if you will believe in limitations, which are usually influenced by outside sources, or you can believe in yourself and follow your decision into greatness. 

It is okay to believe in your abilities.  No really, it is.  “You can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it.” Here is another guy I know nothing about, but Dr. Robert Anthony makes a valid point…if you just believe in yourself, you can have whatever the fuck you want!  Sorry, that may have been a bit much…but am I wrong?

I never really was a big fan of Goldie Hawn’s movie’s but she had a point in saying “I finally stopped running away from myself.  Who else is there better to be?”  Exactly, Goldie.  Exactly!  Who else is there better to be than yourself?  Who else is there to believe in other than yourself?  Who else is there that is better fit to dream your dreams or live your life?  No one!  You are the only one that is capable of being uniquely you.

The only limitations that you have are the ones that you tell yourself.  Stop telling yourself and the rest of us, a bullshit story of your limitations.  Stop placing imaginary limits on yourself- yielding you powerless. Instead, start envisioning a positively powerful life that is limitless and filled with success and happiness.

Give Me The Ball

Yesterday was deadlift day.  We were to perform a 5x5 @ 70%.  Typically, 70% isn’t all that heavy.  I mean, it’s heavy, but it isn’t HEAVY.  Usually I get super excited for deadlift day. I love deadlifts.   Not today.  When I calculated my percentage and what I was to lift, it felt daunting.  I was actually nervous that I wouldn’t be able to finish my work.  I considered dropping the weight down.  I considered asking for more rest in between sets as we (Eric and I) have recently decreased our rest/recovery between sets to improve our conditioning. 

I was getting pissed at myself.  I was freaking out about a number that I knew I could do, but felt anxious about.  Negative thoughts were rushing through my mind.  “What if I fail? What if I injure myself?  I can’t get hurt.  Do I really want to be strong?  Is it worth it?  Do I really want this?” 

WTF?

How could I be asking these questions and having this doubt?  This was not like me, at all.  I have never back down from a chance at personal growth.  I have never been afraid of a challenge.  But I was.

Before we began, I asked myself “when was a time when I felt powerful?  When was a time when I felt fearless and confident?”

My answer: Basketball.  

Me hoopin' it up in 1982.  I was 3 years old.

If you were to ask me to describe my childhood and adolescence in one word my answer would be; basketball.  Basketball was my entire identity in my youth.  Before I started making stupid teenage decisions, basketball was my world.  I ate basketball.  I breathed basketball.  I dreamt basketball.  I was head-over-heels in love with basketball.  It was my first love. 

When I played all I wanted was the ball.  I wanted to shot the ball.  I wanted to pass the ball.  I wanted to rebound the ball.  I wanted to steal the ball.  My focus was to play ball.  My focus was playing basketball relentlessly working to be my best.

I never backed down to a big moment.  In fact, I wanted the ball the most during the big moments…when everything was on the line.  I thrived off of pressure situations.  I wanted to guard the best player of the opposite team.  I loved competition.  I found joy in risk-taking.  I got lost in the rush of working to be my best in hopes of being victorious with no guarantee to victory. 

I stepped up to any challenge.  I would play anyone, no matter how big or tall.  I was a beast, and I wanted a chance to prove my ability and skill.  I believed in my ability.  I trusted the hours and hours that I spent practicing skills and visualizing details of execution.  Even if I didn’t come out the victor in each game situation, I was hungry for the next game and the next encounter I would have with an opponent to prove I was the best.  I was never scared. 

I decided to create a mantra right then and there.  “Give me the ball! I got this!” I repeated this mantra, silently in my head again and again.  “Give me the ball!  I got this!”  “Give me the ball!  I got this!”  I said this over and over until it turned into, “Give me the barbell!  I got this!”  “Give me the barbell!  I got this!”

I started to embody and embrace the feelings that I had as a basketball player, confident, strong, and competitive.  I literally got fired up thinking about lifting the heavy barbell off the ground.  I wanted that barbell in my hands!  I wanted to lift!  I actually started to grin when it was my set, because it felt like when I would step up for a free throw shot in my youth.  I was ready.  I was pumped!  There was no question in my mind.  I knew I would crush it. 

I know I’m not the only one that gets a bit anxious when attempting something difficult and challenging.  I know I’m not the only one that second guesses my ability when you are called upon to perform.  I am not alone in this battle of the mind. 

For that reason, I encourage you to create your own personal mantra that instantly transforms your mind from meager thoughts to a super-confident mindset! 

Here’s how:

Think back to a time, a situation, or competition where you were confident.  Recall an instance where you had a flawless performance.  Remember all the details and embody how you felt.  Embrace the confidence, joy, and personal power that exhilarated you.  Were you playing a sport and have a near perfect performance?  Was it a presentation that you were well prepared for?  Did you make a really good impression during a job interview that led to employment for your dream job? 

Whatever that moment was or memory was, I ask you to tell yourself NOW what you told yourself THEN to get pumped and confident for that particular situation.  Now imagine you are there.  Imagine you are about to step on the court or take the stage, how does it feel?  Feels great, doesn’t it?

Now that you have that memory fresh in your mind you can develop, create, and rehearse a mantra for yourself that you can apply to present day pressures or challenges that you face.  For example, Simply interchange words in order to give your current situation the appropriate energy and focus that is needed to supercharge you with belief in your abilities.  

I used basketball as motivation for lifting a barbell.  I changed “Give me the ball!” into “Give me the barbell!” 

If you have great memories with of a performance you had in theater, for instance, you could take “It’s show time!” and replace the word “show” with “it’s lift time!”

There are no rules when it comes to finding inner motivation and drive to take on a challenge.  Be creative.  Have fun! 

Decide to Control

We are constantly in a state of learning how to think and remain positive in a world full of chaos and difficult challenges.  We are at war with ourselves, and many times we are unaware that a war is even taking place.  We are at war between negative influence and empowering positivity.  Due to this constant battle- we sometimes fall into a trap of believing we have no control over our outcome.  This is not true.  Do not believe the lie of others, which states you can’t or that you won’t or that something is impossible.  That is bullshit.  Don’t buy into the idea that you can’t, won’t, or shouldn’t.  You are in control of your life.  Listen to the voice inside of you communicating your truth. 

The most limiting factor to your success is the internal negative bullshit that you are thinking.  Not only do you believe this nonsense story, but you’re buying it in bulk and eating it every single day of your life.  Stop polluting your mind with this crap.  The story that you keep acknowledging is the one that will be acted out in your day to day life.  The thoughts that you create in your mind will be reflected in real life.

Who you are, what you do, and where you go, are the direct results of the thoughts that you choose.  Choose wisely.  Choose boldly.

You are in control of your thoughts.  No really, you are!  You are in the driver’s seat of your very own thinking.  You have the wheel.  You are in control of your final destination.

You can either think like a loser or think like a champion.  You can either think like a peasant or think like a queen.  The choice is very simply, yours.  You can either live free and be empowered with positivity or be a prisoner to a negative mindset.

Don’t worry.  Your thoughts don’t own you.  You own your thoughts.  You are in complete control.  You can change your stinking thinking RIGHT NOW and start RIGHT NOW down the path of positive thinking!  No Really!  You can!

How? You ask.

The answer is simple.  Decide to take control.  Decide to change the way you think.  You must make the decision that you are in control of your life and your thoughts.  Do it now.  Remember that simple does not mean easy.  Sometimes we have to rewire our thinking in order to understand that we have personal power and complete control over our lives. 

We can learn to control our thinking by rewiring and reprogramming the story that we have survived and thrived on for so long.  To do this we must first make the conscious decision that we must change our thinking.  Once the decision is made, only then can the journey begin.  The first step on this journey is to understand that you have control.  This is the most difficult of all the steps.  This can make or break many people, so buckle up…it might get bumpy.

I Am MissFit: Not A Brand, But A Lifestyle

I Am MissFit isn’t just a brand.  It isn’t prissy and pink.  You won’t see flowers or bows and barrettes.  There are no cutesy slogans or pretty little ribbons to wear that signify girl power.

MissFit is an attitude.  MissFit is a way of life.  To be MissFit is to be yourself. 

It’s a lifestyle.  It’s who you are.  To be MissFit is to simply be you.  You don’t need to fit in when you stand out.

To be MissFit is to be resilient in the face of adversity.  To be MissFit is to stand strong in the eye of the storm.  To be MissFit is to have an unwavering determination in the face of failure and defeat.  To be a MissFit is to put your head down and hustle hard for what you want and defy any definition that society tries to place on you because you’re a woman.  To be MissFit is to live your life out loud with no apologies.  To be MissFit is to step into your dreams and make it your reality.    

I Am MissFit can represent who you are or the greatness that you possess and the greatness you are creating.  When you read or hear the words “I Am MissFit”, replace the word MissFit with your own personal mantra to inspire and empower you to be exactly who you are and live the lifestyle you want!

Monday Motivation for MissFit's: Sometimes all you need is a little R & R

I am so pumped that Monday is here!  I can't explain to you the excitement that I feel to get back on my hustle and grind.  I feel recharged, refreshed, and refocused.  I'm really freaking excited to seize the day!

I just returned home from vacation.  Well, truthfully it was a short excursion to the beach that allowed me to the luxury of not setting an alarm clock for 2 whole days. I work really hard, and truthfully I feel exhausted lately.  The get away was great.  It was needed.  I love vacations.  Vacations help to renew the mind and spirit while relax the body.

During the calm and relaxation of vacation, you are reminded of your life goals and reinvigorated by your passions!  During vacation the hunger and desire for achievement begin to re-manifest as they were lost in the hustle of the day to day grind.  During rest and relaxation I actually remember the passion and love that I have for my work.

R & R never hurt anyone.  It is usually well deserved.  Resting allows us to appreciate what we do and to be thankful for our abilities.  If you haven't taken a break lately, I highly recommend it.

"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." ~Aristotle

It feels odd admitting this, but I was ready for Monday to arrive.  I'm ready to return to my work

I'm ready to return to my regimen.  I'm ready to get back to working towards my goals.  I'm ready to crush it!  I'm ready to get back in the swing of things and take action.

Define Own Standard of Beauty

Recently I was having a conversation with a fellow, and a comment that he had about my body blew me away.  I could have become offended, but once I took time to think about it and digest his ignorance...I had an epiphany about my body image and I felt empowered.

The epiphany was: I'm a bad ass motherfucker with or without anyone's fucking approval!

These words actually came out of a man's mouth:

"You have an amazing body.  You know what would make you look awesome!  Bigger boobs.  Have you ever thought about getting implants?  You should think about it.  You'd rock it!  You'd look great! Girls are lucky, you can get parts enhanced.  If I could, I'd get penis enlarged to 20 feet.  Can you imagine?  Women are lucky."

Thanks, dick!

I'm not going to comment on his appearance, because it doesn't matter. But I will just note that I was not impressed.

Had I been told that comment at 22 years old, hell even 30 years old...I am not sure my delicate self-esteem could have taken that.  I would have rushed to the nearest hiding spot and cried a little and felt insecure for the rest of the day.  I would have started saving money for breast implants, and imagined how "perfect" my body would be once the procedure was complete.  I would have looked for approval of others based on how they viewed my body and hope that I was good enough and worthy for love.  I would have thought that to be considered attractive and beautiful, I would need to look a certain way.  I would have also wrongly judged other women based on my warped perception of beauty.

Luckily I am 37, and at this point I could care less about what some idiot thinks about my body and what I should do to "enhance" it.  Luckily I have spent years working to build my confidence levels and self-esteem, and self-love based on personal improvement and achievement rather than only basing my worth on appearance.  Though at times it has been a struggle at times, I no longer base my worth on my looks as I did when I was younger.  I try to be honest with myself, and the truth (if you didn't know) is I do not have a large bust.  To answer his question, yes, I have considered paying for a breast augmentation.  I have done the online research, called clinics, saved thousands of dollars, and even sat in for an appointment to talk to a cosmetic surgeon.  I could never pull the trigger.

I'm not sure why I never went through with the procedure, but I am positive that the cost had something to do with it.  I also knew that I was not mature enough for a change so significant.  And to be completely upfront, I still consider it sometimes.  To follow that statement, let me be clear, I only make life changing decisions based on my happiness and what is best for my well-being.  I will never make a decision, especially about my body, to please anyone else.  Ever.

Why should I or any woman feel the need to alter my body to suit someone else's standard of beauty? Why should I or any woman feel that I need to look a certain way in order to gain the approval or admiration of a man?  Why should I or any woman feel that I have to try harder or pay money to live up to a contrived standard of beauty?  Why should I or any woman feel unworthy or less perfect due to lacking a certain preference?  Why do I or any woman need to change my breast size, lip size, butt size, or waist size to be accepted as a beautiful woman?

I would like to bring to your attention that most men or women that require this unattainable standard of beauty are far more insecure than any of you reading this blog.

I have many different qualities and features that make me just as much of a woman as any other woman big bust or not.  I don't believe I have to prove my "woman-ness" to anyone male or female. And I certainly don't feel I need to spend thousands of dollars to get the approval of some sex crazed pig.  It doesn't matter what size my boobs are, how large or small my butt is, how long my hair is, or how much I weigh or what kind of clothes I wear that defines me as a woman.  Being a woman is much more than physical appearance.

I wish I could give you a straight forward definition of what is means to be a woman.  I wish I could draw a picture or describe in detail what a woman should look like, how she should dress, fix her hair, wear her make-up, how a woman should speak, What sports a woman should play, what career path is acceptable for a woman, how a woman should walk, and how a woman should think.  But I can't give you a definition or a description.  To be a woman is all empowering and beautiful.  There is no one standard of beauty.  There is no right or wrong.  There is no checklist that you can mark to meet a certain standard or "woman-ness".  You are either a woman or you are not, and if you are you should know that you are perfectly beautiful.  If you are not a woman, you have no business in defining the beauty and greatness that is a woman.

I'm going to close with this:  You are a bad ass motherfucking woman with or without anyone's fucking approval!

Run, Rise, Rule, or Reign. When It Comes To Fear, You Choose.

According to the late great Zig Ziglar, fear has two meanings; “Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise.” 

Zig's wisdom and knowledge speaks volumes and is everlasting.  He was right, have 2 choices when facing challenges or objections: Run or Rise.  It's a classic case of fight or flight.  You always have power and control over your reactions to any situation.  Even when you have some butterflies in your stomach or are nervous about working towards a goal.  There will always be obstacles, and more than likely there will be a hater or 10 that have objections to the actions that you take in YOUR life. Sometimes we can even decide not to take action towards our dreams because of the negativity and insecurity of other people.  Those people are called haters and they should be ignored.  

I think there is a third meaning.  It’s a little harsh.  It might hurt some ears.  But it needs to be said, especially if you are letting the words of the haters clog your mind and prevent your greatness.

FEAR:  F*ck Everyone And Rule! 

The haters want you to fall.  They want you to fail.  They want you to hurt.  They want you to quit.  They want you to have self-doubt.  They want you to question your abilities.  Haters hate you.  They do not wish you well.  They do not pray for your success.   They do not wish you happiness.  F*ck the haters.  They don’t pay your bills.  They don’t wear your shoes.  They don’t know the challenges that you face day in and day out.  They don’t know the depth of your dreams.  They want you to stop.  They want you to quit.  They want you to fear what they fear…your greatness.  Don't fear your own light.  Shine bright.  I wonder if there could even be a fourth meaning for fear?

FEAR:  Forge Excellence And Reign!

Do not let their hate affect your performance.  Do not let their contempt affect your work.  Do not let their jealousy affect your success.  Do not let their rumors affect your intensity, creativity, passion.  Be excellent.  No matter what is said, no matter how the BS is spread.  Forge excellence.  Stop accepting mediocrity.  Stop being okay with average.  Don’t allow what they can’t do affect what you can do.  Don’t hold back because you have high standards.  Stop being afraid to step up and be excellent!   

Now that you have 4 meanings to choose from, the choice is yours.  Can I make a suggestion?  No matter if you decide to Rise, Rule, or Reign in the face of fear NEVER run!