Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Bad Days

***Disclaimer*** This post is kinda long...I had a lot on my mind...so bear with me.

Hi my name is Brittney, and today I had a horrible time with the barbell.  I have been working faithfully for the last 8 weeks to increase my total in the back squat, bench press, and deadlift.  I got a PR on the back squat Monday, which was WONDERFUL.  I matched my personal best for the bench press on Tuesday...and I was okay with that.  But today...TODAY...I failed to even pull my personal best on the dead lift.  I don't think you understand what I'm saying.  What I'm trying to tell you is that the bar DID NOT even budge from the platform.  I went to pick it up, and the bar was like..."Bitch please...you're crazy...I ain't moving!"

Can I tell you that I was SO pissed!  Just to share a bit more...I went home and literally sulked for a few hours before I had to be back at the gym to workout some more.  And YES, this the kind of stuff that I get upset about...not dumb things like boys.  I'm not saying I cried, but all I'm saying is that I might have cried.   Either way, I had to pull myself together and let the past go in order to channel positive energy to coach a class full of wonderful people and then put myself through hellish Fran (Fran is a workout for all you non-CrossFitters out there.)  Oh did I mention that I haven't done Fran in over 2 years...because in between that time I have moved twice, had surgery on my shoulder, and FORCED myself to be patient with rehab.  I ended up doing pretty darn good at Fran considering the challenges that I have faced.  I actually stayed and did some Olympic lifting later, which was nice.  I don't have big numbers yet, but since I have to start from the bottom AGAIN...I might as well get this technique thingy down and the big numbers will increase with time.

Ok...so you might be saying to yourself:
 "THAT'S NICE AND ALL BRITTNEY, BUT WHAT THE HECK IS THE POINT?"

Here, let me tell you:

After I got monkey spanked by the barbell today, I started to think about motivation, self-efficacy, and resolve.  I started to wonder if I really wanted what I said I wanted in regards to training, and I started to wonder if I have truly been giving a full out effort during my training sessions the last 2 months.  The answer was a resounding YES!  I mean, I love this shit and I workout with Lindsay who is a beast and by working out with the best...I have to work really hard to keep up.  So of course I'm giving it my all and I want to be stronger and faster! 

SO ( to go back a little)...I need to mention that in the middle of my poopie pants moment, I posted my failure on FB (not sure why, but I did), and one of my friends (Joe to be exact) posted a quote and it read: "success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."     

And that quote led me to the conclusion that it's not the great days that make the difference.  Don't get me wrong, good training days are awesome, but you are only as good as your last PR.  On the day following a badass workout or a PR...confidence is soaring and you can't wait to get back to the gym to crush another workout! It geeks you out and you want more!  Motivation seems to be seeping from your pores when your training is kicking ass.  Not to sound harsh, but that's when it's easy to keep going to the gym to train. 

But what about when you have a bad day?  What about if the barbell makes you feel like an asshole?  What then? 

Want to know if someone is motivated?  Want to know if someone is truly committed to their goals?  Have you ever thought about that?  Have you ever watched someone's behavior after they have just failed at something?  What do they do?  Do they get mad?  Discouraged?  How about apathetic?  Do they come back to the gym the next day with the same drive, resolve, determination that they had following a great day?  You know...do they still have fire under their ass?  Or do they seem defeated, deflated, maybe even hopeless?  I mean...Do they even come back???

So, you can understand what I mean when I say, that it is from the bad days that we should measure one's motivation, self-efficacy, and resolve.  It is from failure that the truth will come out.  Well, let me tell you that the truth came out for me today.  I'M ALL IN!  I am committed, AND I am staying the course.  I have always been a fighter (I've had a few) and when I have been knocked down...I don't just get back up...I JUMP BACK UP for more.  I will never stop working until I get what I want.  I have been like that since I was very young, and I don't plan on letting a PUNK ASS barbell stop me now!

After sharing my experience with you, I want to leave you with this question.

What will you do the next time you have a bad day?

My suggestion: dust yourself off...give that day the middle finger...and go back for more!

To add a little comedy relief...I had to add this scene from one of my favorite movies "Harlem Nights."  This lady is awesome and doesn't back down when challenged. This kills me every time I watch it.  Enjoy.





   

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